In Pursuit of Women (or the running of the bulls)

Dear Anonymous Reader,

A friend and I were sitting at lunch the other day talking about all our failed exploits with the opposite sex, friendship or otherwise.

Riveting.

To be frank, he's always been a little more gung-ho about pursuing girls than I have. I generally take the "safer" (a.k.a. slower) approach; he pretty much tends (or used to) to just jump right in.

No puns intended

Regardless, probably the most significant lesson I've learned is that even if you take it slow and "safe," it doesn't guarantee things are gonna work out any better, despite what that little children's story says.

Not that I'm saying go ahead and rush into things. Of course not. Just don't be surprised if things go all Hiroshima in the end.

Ironically enough, dropped on my birthday

At any rate, we both have our stories. And for some reason, probably because I generally take my time and get really involved, all my stories take longer to tell.

Or maybe I just like to hear myself talk.

Anyway, after one of my current events updates (or more generally my thoughts on everything up to this point) my friend said something along the lines of, "You know, Sean, you should just write a book about all your experiences with women."

Honestly, I don't have much. The "experience" I do have is more of what not to do. After all, I've only had one girlfriend (who is now "The Ex"), and there aren't really any prospects on the horizon (not that I'm complaining). And despite my attempts to "do everything right" and "take it slow" and whatever other noble phrases I can put out there, I've still been oblivious, heartless, a jerk, and probably just plain annoying.

In fact, it reminds me of that inspirational e-mail about Thomas Edison and his light bulb. True or not, the story goes that he went through at least a thousand different materials for his filament before he found out one that worked longer than just a few hours. When asked about his failures, he said something along the lines of, "I haven't failed a thousand times, I've just found a thousand ways that wont work."

One thousand and one...one thousand and two...

So, feeling slightly inspired by my friend's comment (and from a lack of anything else to write about), these are my "thousand" ways that haven't worked.

I'll start from the beginning (or what I remember, anyway). And don't worry, these will come in parts, and this one will be short.

Promise.

A Prequel Thingy

I think her name was LeAnne. I'm not entirely sure, probably because this was over twenty years ago and I was still in kindergarten or preschool, and also because I'm terrible with names.

Ask anyone.

Either way, the only memory I have of her is chasing her around the playground behind daycare. She had long, dirty blondish hair and was pretty. I liked her (in whatever way a naive, prepubescent little kid can) and so chasing her around the playground was about all I knew to do.

I haven't seen her since, I don't think, but I've never forgotten that afternoon.

I think I remember it most because it defines how the rest of my pursuits have been:

Always chasing someone, but never really catching anyone.

Not that it's really a bad thing, given the current state of affairs. But rejection/heartbreak sucks no matter what the reason.

-to be continued-