Truth or Dare?

Dear Anonymous Reader,


"Some things are better left unsaid."


I think we've all heard (or even used) that saying. We use it in so many convenient situations; mostly when we want to avoid an inconvenient, awkward situation. A friend of mine hates it when guys begin that conversation with, "Let me be honest with you...," 'cause afterward, it's usually an awkward, relationship changing event.

I like you for your braaains

I've always been the sort of person (or would like to think I am) who wants to know the truth regardless of how awkward, uncomfortable, or life changing it might be. It amazes me that so many people would live their lives ignorant and supposedly happy in a puddle of lies rather than know what's really going on. 

Then again...

Understandably, the truth can hurt at times. Whether it's finding out your girlfriend (or whatever gender-specific significant other) is in love with someone else, your dog really didn't run away when you were seven but was put out of its misery by dad's .44 magnum, or you really are like everyone else, the truth can be devastating. I mean heck, even Solomon said:

"...in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain."            -Ecclesiastes 1:18

But why would someone rather live a lie? If it's not true, where's the meaning? 

I think it goes to show that for most of us, meaning is derived from our point of view and how we feel rather than what's actually true (or not). It doesn't matter that you'll never live up to their expectations. As long as you can dream, there's always a chance.

I'm not just talking about in relationships. I'm talking about with every aspect of life. Religion, lack of religion, politics, butter side up (or down), etc. The reason why no one will every really agree on anything is because we all have so many different perspectives. Almost seven billion different perspectives.

My seat's better than yours

But what's even more frustrating is that many people can't see past those differences and recognize that you don't have to agree to get along.

Now sure, there are extenuating circumstances. If someone breaks into your house and points a gun in your face, agreement or getting along isn't (and doesn't need to be) the first thing crossing your mind. 

But I'm not talking about those obviously excluded situations. I'm talking about everyday life. I'm talking about the two people of the same religion (or denomination, even) that get into a heated debate over mere doctrine and leave bitter and angry, never to speak again. I'm talking about opposing sports teams that in the name of friendly rivalry do ridiculous, sometimes heinous things to each other. I'm talking about the couple that can't agree on which side of the room to place the couch and have a yelling match until one or the other storms out of the room angry beyond consolation. 

You did this to me!

What's most frustrating of all is that the majority of these problems could probably be solved by effective communication and the willingness to understand and accept a person's point of view without trying to change them. Whether it's the angry woman telling the man how she really feels, the confused man telling the woman how he feels, the friend telling the friend how they feel, or if it's the mother who's honest with her daughter about what to really expect in the world (good and bad), so many permanently painful situations could be avoided if someone just spoke up truthfully from the beginning.

But then again, most of us hate those confrontational situations. We hate the potential rejection. We hate the truth in knowing that sometimes we're just not good enough, what we do isn't good enough, or even just not feeling good enough.

And most of all, we hate having to trust someone else with that delicate piece inside of us that can be broken, sometimes seemingly beyond repair. 

Solomon said:

"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." -Proverbs 4:23

But do we have to be, intentional or not, liars and thieves to do so?

I may be going to extremes, but it's just a thought.

Sincerely,

-Sean