In Pursuit of Women (so smooth, Sherlock) part 3

Dear Anonymous Reader,

I've never been smooth with the ladies...at least not the ones I'm going after. As said before, almost all attempts to woo the opposite sex have ended in utter failure.

                                                           cracked.com
Metaphorically accurate

This girl, we'll call her Sue (I'll refrain from true names from this point on, thanks to Facebook), was my first real attempt to tell a girl how I felt about her. It was 5th grade, and like most kids my age who watched TV and lacked any sort of confidence when it came to talking to girls, I decided to write a note.

                                            georgestrait.com
Thanks for the great advice, Mr. Strait

I've since learned that although passing notes might make for a good, cutesy country song, they're generally the worst idea ever.

I think it was a page or two (my first mistake...keep it simple), and about the only thing I really remember of what it said (aside from the fact that I liked her) was that I liked the way she said "yo" when saying hello.

Yeah, it's the simple things.

At any rate, I didn't have the guts to just hand it to her, so I stuck it in her locker.

Mistake number two.

There's so much that can go wrong in the time between sliding it through those vents and her actually getting it. I can't remember now if she ever actually got it or if it just slipped out onto the floor, but the next thing I remember is someone totally random laughing about it (not her) and me finding it on my English teacher's desk unfolded and read by who knows how many immature people my age by the time it got there.

To say I was embarrassed is an understatement. Humiliated almost fits.

Sure, now I look back and laugh about it, and some might say, "Aw, but how cute is that?"

Not cute in the least when you're my 5th grade self. All it equaled was humiliated rejection.

The first of many.

I've written many notes since then (you'd think I'd've learned quicker not to after that mess). Most I don't remember, and most can't top that one. But what's really stuck with me is that no matter how well things may look in your head or on paper, the actual execution and potential outcome will most likely be much different.

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

But try not to leave incriminating evidence behind. Just tell her face to face how you feel. If she feels the same, awesome, more brownie points for you for having the guts to look her in the eye. If not, at least she doesn't have some cheesy, tangible confession to pass around afterward.

Oh, and if she says no, she means no. It might look cute in movies for a guy to be annoyingly persistent, and some might get lucky in real life, but 9 out of 10 times, you're just plain annoying.

But more on that later.

Sincerely,

-Sean