In Pursuit of Women (the self-inflicted mind games) Part 2

Dear Anonymous Reader,

So I just returned from a ski trip. It was a blast. There's nothing like a road trip with falling down a snowy mountain thrown into the midst. 

Or hitting a brick wall

That's not me, but it's how my body feels.

Road trips, even ones with a group of people, give me a lot of time to think. I thought a lot about the second girl I liked...or the one I remember anyway.

Her name was Danielle. It was 4th grade. She had dark hair and would say "Pooh!" a lot when stuff didn't go her way. I specifically remember a game of four square (a game I haven't played since elementary school and totally forgot about until writing this post) where "Pooh!" was thrown around a lot.

Nothing like a kid's version of the explicit word you don't make the connection to until almost 20 years later.

At any rate, what was special about this girl was she was the first one I ever dreamed about. I only had one dream about her, and it was short, and I vaguely remember what happened. We were in a dark ally (not sure why, but don't get dirty), and I remember just talking to her.

I had a simple, cheesy dream. So what?

Well, after that dream, I went from just liking her to really liking her. I can't remember how long that affection lasted, but it was at the very least all of fourth grade. I didn't ever make a move, I don't think (not much to go on when you're 10), and by 5th grade I was into someone else (my first super embarrassing moment), but I'll never forget the power that dream had. 

It still surprises me to this day how much dreams affect our feelings about things, especially feelings for other people. Ever since then, it never fails that if I dream about a girl I have feelings for, those feelings are reinforced, at least for a little while, that much more. And heck, if I dream about a girl I don't have feelings for, if it's anything dealing with affection, feelings are bound to show up for at least a little while.  

Source: Syracuse.com
This guy was all into that stuff, from what I hear

But as nice (I hope) as dreams can be about the person you like, personally, they just tend to tick me off. One, they're not real. Two, from past experience, they do nothing to help the situation. Three, it's like giving crack to the hormonal part of my brain that screams "I WANNA BE WITH THIS CHICK!"

Yeah, annoying, especially when they don't feel the same (which, in my track record, is all but one that I know of).

So, what I get to look forward to is a super long season of over-thinking the entire situation until I finally make a goof of myself, or until I somehow miraculously stop liking the girl. 

Here's to hoping for the second.

But more on the first later.

Sincerely,

-Sean