Change

Dear Anonymous Reader,

It's cliche, I know, but everything changes. Everyone leaves. And somehow, even you leave yourself at some point.

It might have a bit of cheese mixed in, but someday, if you're lucky, you'll wake up and realize that the person you were five years ago is no long around.

For some of us, this is a good thing. For the jerk in high school who managed to find a heart; for the lazy kid who somehow manages to run a family; for the less ambitious who somehow found a dream, despite the cheesy songs of "you're perfect the way you are," we all hope something about us changes.

Otherwise (and to be perfectly frank), what the hell are we doing here?

Many people graduated from college yesterday. Some I'll see again, but most I won't. I'll only manage a few lines over the next few years through the miracle of Facebook, but otherwise, truth be told, their season in my life is over.

And surprisingly enough, that's alright.

The Sean from five years ago would have been slightly heartbroken. But after this long, after seeing so many people leave and move on, it's understood that nothing lasts forever, regardless of how we feel.

That whole "circle of life" thing.

If we allow it to, such change will give us room for the new seasons, the new people, and the new experiences we have waiting for us.

Congrats, College Grads. I'll join you one of these days.

But as you can tell, I'm in no hurry.

Sincerely,

-Sean

If You're Right and You Know It (clap your hands!)

Dear Anonymous Reader,

I've got one of those story telling personalities that has to start at the beginning.

The very beginning.

                 The, "Two hundred years before I was born," beginning.

It's not that I necessarily like to hear myself talk as much as I just like for there to be substantial context for the story I'm telling...and the ultimate point I'm trying to make.

Because it's all about the story.

Yes, yes, you have the point of the story, the capstone, and such impatient types would love for you to skip to the end like any lazy chap (too much Top Gear) could "reading" a book (cheaters), but the entire point itself is wrapped up into the very story you're telling (or skipping).

(guilty)

We've become an impatient, cheap society.

Well, wait, that's not right. We've always been an impatient, cheap society, and to tell that story, I've got to go back roughly 7,000 years.

You see, there was this guy, Moses, and he was out shepherding sheep one day when...

Just kidding. I won't bore you (myself included) with such things this early in the morning (or late in the evening, whichever you prefer).

The easiest way I can make this point without delving into thousands of years of biblical history is this:

And He died on the cross so that you might live.

That's the point. The entire history of the bible, the entire message of the gospel, is wrapped up (basically) into that sentence right there.

But how'd He get there? one might ask. And who is He anyway? Why did He have to die? Why the cross? Where'd He come from and where'd He go? Was it even necessary? Is it even true?

What's the point?

There's always more to the point than just "the point." There's more to me than my desire to provide lengthy explanations that very well may put you to sleep. And there's more to being right than the profound knowledge that I'm more than likely wrong.

A lot.

But I see my story...the sides you don't. Even when the story's written on my face in lines and figures, expressions of surprise, gratitude, regret, happiness, or anger, there's more to it than just your interpretation and postmortem assumptions of why it is I do what I do (or did).

And I've been around long enough to know that even when I know for sure why you do what you do, most of the time, I don't really know jack squat.

Regardless of who you are.

All I can tell you is that I know I'm right, for now, even though I know I'm more than likely wrong.

And that's okay.

And if you find yourself in the same position, that's alright, too. We've all had to experience the rude awaking of realizing we're wrong.

"Every man’s way is right in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the hearts." -Proverbs 21:2

There are days when I have no idea where my heart is. In fact, I could probably say that most days I have no clue where it is and which way it's going. Accordingly:

"The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it? -Jeremiah 17:9

Therefore, I know only to do this:

“...looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” -Hebrews 12:2

The entire point is that I'm not the point.

He is.

And there's a long, incredible story at my fingertips that tells me about it, and it's still being written.

I'm hardly right, despite my confidence and my stories, but He is. And if you don't know Him, just take a look and make an attempt to see Him not as some grand figure stapled to a religion, but as a living being allowing His creation to get to know Him in creative ways.

And if you really give it a go, despite the outcome, you'll be in for and a part of an amazing ride and fascinating story.

Sincerely,

-Sean

In Pursuit of Women (To ask or not to ask?) Part 6

Dear Anonymous Reader,

It's been a few days (or weeks...maybe)...seems I'm not procrastinating as much as I used to (except for that English paper...it's been procrastinated like a mo-fo).

At any rate, these next few "In Pursuit of Women" installments may not be in the particular order in which they occurred. I can think of at least 5 girls I liked throughout high school, but for the life of me, remembering the exact order or grade when I liked them is sketchy.

Not that you really care about those details anyway, but there ya have it.

This next girl is significant because she's the first girl I asked out...who I didn't really think I wanted to go out with.

Heck, I probably didn't even really like her all that much.

Yeah, how often does that happen?

We were both in band, and from early on in whatever school year it was (maybe Freshman year), I could tell there seemed to be some sort of interest on her part. I honestly don't remember much aside from the fact that I enjoyed the attention, but like with most all girls, she didn't fit what I thought I was looking for.

And, honestly, I think she got on my nerves more than anything.

But that aside, we took a band trip to Corpus Christi later in the year. Most of what happened is fuzzy (aside from the monstrous stick man I made in the sand the next morning), but one night as everyone took a walk on the beach, I think someone told me this girl liked me and that we'd look cute together...or something of the sort. All I really remember is knowing I didn't want to ask her out, but I felt bad, so I did anyway.

And naturally, by this point, she was probably put off by my obvious lack of interest, and so she took the power into her hands and said no

I felt rejected, for a moment, but then I remembered that I didn't really want to go out with her anyway, so I was thankful. If she would have actually said yes, then I more than likely would have found myself in an extremely awkward position the very next day when I woke up and realized I was "dating" some girl I didn't even like.

Awkward for me, and a jerk move for me to pull on her.

My dad gave me some great advice once based on a personal story of his I won't take the time to go into, but it basically goes like this:

"Don't ruin your life just to be polite."

There's a big difference (I hope) in caring for a person vs. knowing they're the sort of person you actually want to spend the rest of your life with. Thanks to our schizophrenic hormones, those lines can sometimes become cloudy...very cloudy.

Figure out what you want, where it counts, and don't worry about anything else until they come around. It's better to live alone learning patience and how to enjoy life than be stuck with someone you can't stand...or who can't stand you.

In short, and in conclusion, don't settle, and don't be the one settled for.

Sincerely,

-Sean

Kony 2012 (Make him...what?)

Dear Anonymous Reader,

Sometimes procrastination is a very good thing.

I'm sure by now most of you have seen or heard of the Kony 2012 (Make Him Famous) viral/social networking movement/trend/fad/whatever-you-feel-like-calling-it. If you haven't, here's a link to Invisible Children's 30 minute vid followed by a short summary:

A non-profit group known as Invisible Children aims at bringing Joseph Kony (war criminal and leader of the L.R.A., a rebel group who desires to see people follow the 10 commandments) to justice in 2012 by "making him famous." Their reasoning is that if everyone in the western world (or world in general) knows who Kony is and what he's done, then people will be forced to do what it takes, to back (or create) whatever policy it takes, to assist the Ugandan Government in bringing him down. So on April 20th, it's I.C.'s hope that thousands (if not millions) of young people across the nation (and the world, if possible) will blanket their cities in posters, t-shirts, and other such merchandise to make Joseph Kony undeniably famous. 

Simple enough?

It's never that simple.

The first night the video aired over vimeo/youtube, I watched Facebook/Twitter lit up like a proverbial Christmas tree as people joined the cause to see justice brought to the people (and especially the children) of Uganda.

So like everyone else, I watched the video. And despite my general skepticism, I was touched and wanted to know more about the issue at hand...as well as the other side of the story.

As a side note (for context of my position, not for boasting), I already give to a couple of charities that run various programs in Africa and Asia. So my interest and position on Invisible Children and their methods didn't suddenly appear in reaction to the hype. 

Needless to say, there's a lot to the "other side of the story" that most that night did not take the time to consider. Emotionally invigorated by talented cinematography, the unintentional mob mentality (my own opinion), and the hope of doing something good for a group of people that need it, a great many signed on to bring Kony down in 2012.

Now before you get ahead of me, I'm not against Invisible Children or their desire to see a war criminal brought to justice. That, without argument, is a very good and necessary goal. I also can't deny that some of the programs I.C. provides, and especially the awareness they raise about issues that would otherwise go unnoticed, are commendable.

I am, however, for this issue, against their desired method. But more than that, I'm against the general population's lack of further research and consideration into the potential repercussions of April 20th.

Some have tried to argue against I.C.'s position by pointing out poor money management, their current lack of financial accountability, and other such fiscal related issues. To Invisible Children's credit, they've addressed these questions with grace and transparency. My problem isn't with how Invisible Children spends the money they're given. They have the right and freedom to do with it what they will.

My problem is with how we spend our money. And is I.C. the proper place at this point?

So far, over half a million "action kits" have been purchased from I.C. since this campaign started. At $30 a pop, that's over $15 million dollars.

That's almost twice what they made for the entire year of 2011.

I.C. freely admits that they're not an aid organization, they're an advocacy group. That's great. People need advocates.

But does I.C. properly reflect the current issues in Uganda (or Africa in general), or do they have their own agenda of good intentions that unintentionally leaves Africans misrepresented and angry?

In my own opinion, spending millions of dollars on "action kits" and littering cities with tomorrows trash ends up being a gross waste of money and proverbial "clanging cymbal."

More-so, when April 21st rolls around, the general population will awake (in the West anyway) to cities littered in red talking about a man they've already heard of online and in the news.

Redundancy at its best.

Thus, millions of tax payer dollars will go to cleaning up the streets (since posters only last so long, especially in the rain), and for the price of redundancy, millions of dollars which could have gone to direct aid and efforts not only in Africa (there are great many other organizations out there) but at home (tax payer dollars which fund local programs) will have been wasted to retell the world something they already know:

Kony sucks.

Meanwhile, the actual voice of the Ugandans go unheard and unassisted because we youth thought it a better idea to pay for chatter about an issue than for actual aid for the many issues they may indeed face.

From a Christian perspective, it's along the lines of telling the world, "There are hungry people! Feed them!" without actually giving the hungry any food.

Dead Faith.

But more importantly, we fail to do the research so that we can understand what we should actually be doing to assist those in need (and do they even need our help in the first place...or are we making matters worse?).

We've merely been told what to do, and like sheep, we blindly follow.

Procrastinate, for once, on this issue, and do the research to see where your money and efforts can best be invested. If you conclude it's with Invisible Children, great. But it's a big world; take the time to look around.

Sincerely,

-Sean

There are a lot of different sources for the information I've posted. This guy, however, has done a lot more research than I have, and has compiled resources here. Please take a look. 

Decidedly Uninspired

Dear Anonymous Reader,

Surprisingly enough, I haven't procrastinated this month as much as I generally do (except for now...not studying for a french test). Obviously, it's been a couple of weeks since I've written anything here. Truth be told, I haven't felt inspired enough (or at all) to write anything seemingly worth while (schoolwork aside...inspired only by deadlines and potential F's).

markjuleen.com

Not quite the inspiration I'm looking for, but kudos nonetheless

But if there's one thing I've learned over the last few years studying literature (while also trying to write some of my own), it's that inspiration (in most instances) has little to do with great works of art. It's the hard work and long hours endured when having to write draft after draft day after day all while experiencing rejection after rejection until finally something clicks (if it ever does) and the ball starts rolling.

The sad, simple truth, however, is that the majority of artists won't ever experience that. They'll live (and die) in obscurity.

Lovely prospects, eh?

So why write...or do anything at all? Because there's hopefully more in it for you than just money (but money would be nice), and all it takes is one divine moment of being in the right place at the right time with the right piece of art to see it realized on a large scale. But if you spend your life not doing anything, then that moment will most definitely never come (and even if it did, you wouldn't have anything to show for it).

So whether you think great works of art come about by this:

legacy.lclark.edu/faculty/jsmiller/objects/idea_bulb.jpg

If you're lucky

Or more realistically by this:

I don't have organizational  issues...honest.

...understanding that most anything significant requires attention, dedication, and overall hard work is the first step to seeing any piece of "creative genius" realized.

The hardest part, though, is getting started.

But more on that later.

Sincerely,

-Sean 

In Pursuit of Women (no means no...without that yes hiding behind it) Part 5

Dear Anonymous Reader,

In Part 3, I left off with how not taking no for an answer ends up becoming annoying and not really that Hollywood style romance we dorky guys hope for.

So on that note, there was this girl. In trying to keep things simple, I'll say that at the time she was simply the most beautiful girl that I had ever met.

Not her, but close enough

I was what, 14? It was the inbetweensie Jr. High years and we went to the same church. Even now, I honestly don't remember much about her except that every single guy wanted to be with her (by a modest estimate)...and she liked cars.

She didn't like me, though. Admittedly, I was probably a dork. At the very least, she tolerated my presence and entertained me with a few good conversations, but from what I remember, it never really went anywhere too significant. I did, however, at some point, gather the guts to ask the girl out.

And of course, she said no.

I'm the one on the right...except I'm a guy, he's the girl, and she's a dude too.
Alrighty then, moving on.

I don't blame her. Looking back, I'd've said no just as quickly. Looking back, I also would've slapped myself and said, "Leave it at that, ya blockhead! Once is enough."

But I was a persistent little sucker.

It eventually, to me anyway, just became a running joke. I'd call her up, we'd share some small talk for a little bit, and somewhere in the conversation I'd not so subtly sneak in, "So, how bout now, will you go out with me?"

"No."

"Aw, common, please?"

"No."

"Alright. See ya at church."

"Bye."

Paraphrased, but still pathetic, I know.

Needless to say, she dated the other guy (doesn't matter who, he's not part of the story) and I eventually moved on. But one thing I realized, regardless of how funny it might be looking back, is that asking her out over, and over, and over again probably wasn't the smoothest thing to do.

Not that I really even knew, or cared, what "smooth" looked like back then. I was 14 for cryin' out loud.

I did learn, however, that regardless of what that sneaky little demon of a heart tells you, if the girl says no (or God forbid gives you some lame excuse along the lines of, "It's not you, it's me,") leave it at that and just move on (at breakneck speed). It'll save you a lot of trouble and embarrassing stories later.

Oh yeah, and that girl's married now, has a kid, and is still beautiful. I hope she's happy.

I'm obviously still single, I have no real prospects, and I still don't have a clue what I'm doing.

But more on that later.

Sincerely,

-Sean

Writer's Block

Dear Anonymous Reader,

...

Sincerely,

-Sean